The Doctor Lifts
by Botchman
Summary: Time Lord biology is far superior to humans. And man oh man can he ever...


The Doctor Lifts.

"Nine hundred and ninety eight, nine hundred and ninety nine, One thousand!"

The Doctor placed the super-dense metal weight back onto the rack and stretched out his multi-layered bicep.

"That'll do for today.." he said with a smile, admiring the vascular streaks that he had created in his mass of hench muscle.

Quickly, The Doctor glanced toward the entrance of the TARDIS gymnasium. No sight of Amy or Rory. That was perfect.

He grabbed hold of his collar and ripped away his shirt and jacket, leaving only his bow tie around his bare neck. Glancing in a mirror opposite, The Doctor beheld the likeness of a bronze God which stood erect and powerful before any foe he would likely meet.

Racks and racks of layered abs were capped with two heaving pectoral muscles, and to either side of these bulged two sets of triceps and biceps, pumped up to breaking point. Yet the difference was that this beef would never break.

"Positively cracking!" exclaimed the doctor, flexing and un-flexing his immense brawn.

If only River could see him now.

"Doctor!" called out the voice of his favorite red head. He heard footsteps ringing out in the corridor.

"Drat! Why up so late Pond?!"

Quick as a flash, the Doctor took a sharp breath inward, allowing his fleshy armor to sink back into his skin. Within seconds he had become the adorably narrow but raggedy doctor that his companion so loved.

Amy Pond, her hair a brilliant, fiery red, burst into the gym to see The Doctor, thin as matchwood, stretching down to touch his toes…

"Oh, hello Amy! Thought you'd leave sleep to the sheep did you? Well great minds think alike, at least as much as they can with a handicap, but be fair, I am out of this world."

Amy giggled at the thin bare-chested man in front of her.

"Well, it's a good thing you got the geek-chic going for you Doctor cos you're really not gonna be the next Muhammad Ali."

The Doctor smiled, playing along with the joke.

"There's that cheeky streak again Pond, what would your husband think if he found out it wasn't exclusive? But yes, a little exercise to widen the eyes and bolster the brain, I suggest you try it sometime, your getting round around the edges."

Amy gasped, but relapsed into giggling as The Doctor made mock punching gestures in her direction.

Time lord biology is incredibly different to that of humans. This is the understatement to end all understatements. Most notable is their increased cardio and lung capacity, a result of having two hearts which function at around one hundred and seventy beats per minute, this being coupled with an incredibly high resistance to poison, shock, and extreme cold. The binary vascular system however, is nowhere near the limit of a Time Lord's organic beauty.

Through strict diet and mental practice, it is possible for Time lords to alter their body chemistry to an incredible degree. In the Doctor's case, a severe restriction on levels of melatonin and an increase of testosterone had helped speed along the development of his massive guns.

Man oh man, could he lift.

But there lay the problem.

As a universal diplomat, he had realized it would be very hard for him to come across as non-threatening if he looked like he crush a dalek by blowing on it. Hence there came the need to hide his incredible bod. And that in itself was the greatest crime in the history of the universe.

Plus why would Amy ever go back to Rory the Stick Insect if she ever found out he was ripped like a fleshy titan.

The answer was she most likely wouldn't.

"Consoles giving out some kind of emergency signal, oh and the blue wibbly lever's stuck, thought that might mean something to you?"

"Ah, yes, astute as always, a slight jamming in dematerialization. I hope you're taking down what all these mean. Your may need to rely on those note-taking skills one day…"

**The Next Week:**

"**_**You should never have come here Doc-tor. You, and countless civilizations will pay for the dis-obedience to cyber-rule**_.**"

The Doctor stood aboard the bridge of an Armada flagship, anticipating the actions of the ship's commander, Cyber-Leader Gold, who stood resolute at the bow of steel and glass.

Outside of the great window lay the swirling expanse of the Andromeda galaxy, a slowly spinning disk of bright pinpricks that marked a million suns and a billion worlds. At least this was the case in the year 132,400 when human contact had been established across numerous star systems.

The Doctor could not enjoy the view however, as he was rather pre-occupied with the manacles that bound both his wrists.

"Now you listen to me well, Cyber honcho. If there's one thing in this universe I can't stand it's classing DIFFERENCE as DIS-OBEDIENCE. Now, this is your final warning. Turn these ships around and go back to Nellis Five or I WILL have to stop you!"

There was a crackle of static as a wall-mounted video monitor sprung to life.

"DOCTOR!?" Called Rory through the screen, anxiety present on his sweating brow.

"Doctor! I patched the coms link like you showed me, err… was there something else or did you mean to…you know just get teleported away like that!"

The Doctor rolled his eyes, turning round to the screen.

"Oh yes, one little thing goes wrong and everyone's a critic, it's a working progress O.K Rory! You just tell that beautiful wife of yours to hit the extrapolator switch just as soon as I give the signal."

Rory smiled a brave little smile before the screen switched itself off.

"**_**All communications have been filtered**_!**" Grated the cyber leader, unhooking himself from his throne of wires and stomping over to The Doctor.

"**_**Your companions have been cut off. Radio silence established, you will be deleted!**"**_

The Doctor backed away from the Cyber leader's advances.

"You are making a very grave mistake! One hundread thousand Cyber-ships might seem a lot now, but to those countless worlds out there they are NOTHING! Human genius is something that feeds off of….Wait…wait… a second. Did you say the communications are down?!"

"**_**Affirmative**_**" Cyber-Leader Gold advanced on the Time Lord in the manner of a pneumatic pedophile.

"**_**The human companions cannot hear nor see you. You are alone. You will be ?!**_**"

But The Doctor had already started to change, a smile evident on his rosy, child like-face.

Great arcs of muscle bulged underneath his tweed jacked, forcing it open at the seams. His undershirt wrinkled and tore, firing a cascade of buttons at the Cyber man, themselves enough to create small dents in the monster's steel skin.

"You…you've done it now you shiny ponce." Announced The Doctor, as thick wads of un-restrained beef created a fleshy sex jacket around him. He had already swelled to an impressive seven feet high with proportional brawn to match and he was going to use it to avenge every system that had been conquered under his direction.

"I'm gonna create a new diode exhaust port in your pelvic region, and proverbially fornicate with you, until your neural relays shut down!"

The Oncoming Storm bit through space-age manacles before Cyber-Leader -Gold could say '_**SHIT THE BED**_!'

He tried to clomp back to his throne and send and boost an emergency signal through the mainframe, but the Doctor was already there.

"**_**C'mon man…Like…It was a joke!?**_**" Cyber-Leader suggested, only to be grappled and put into a full nelson by The Doctor.

"Your lying processers must be out of commission. Now beg you little tin-foil bastard. I'm betting your motor functions are only able to take about 18,000 Newtons of force before you start to fall apart! Now say uncle BITCH!"

"**_**UNCLE.!**_!**" Came a dis-heartened grating from Cyber-Leader Gold.

The Doctor flipped the sad little sub-man over his knee and pressed his face into his sweet abs. Then he tensed them, crushing all his metallic features in one swift movement.

"**_**AAWWWRgg…gghhhh…YOU DICK-HEAD!**_!**" He screamed, tying to wrench himself free.

But the Time Lord's physiology was far too strong, pumping itself full of the chemicals that would perpetuate this manly display of skull-fuckery for at least another forty-eight hours.

"You're trying my patience…" he said softly, into the audio receiver of the cyber-man.

"You hurt the people I care about and think you're gonna get away?! Wrong turn. Do you know how to say 'Geronimo?' "

"**_**Geronimo**_?!**" asked Cyber-Leader Gold, puzzled, but he had already been heaved bodily over The Doctor's head and was launched into the air by his two hefty guns.

There was a pained electronical howling as auto-glass collided with Steel-wanker, creating a crack the size of the whole viewfinder. Cyber Leader Gold, his facial features crushed to nothing, fell twenty feet down onto the bridge of his own flagship, sparking intermittently from the damage he had sustained.

The Doctor, having reached critical muscle mass swayed, from side to side as he walked, in the manner that a space-age pimp might upon graduating from every conceivable field of study in the cosmos.

Clever AND ripped. Just the way he liked it.

"**_**Pl..plee…please...**_**" Groaned Cyber Leader Gold from down on the floor, writhing in simulated stress.

"**_**I…I am sorry…I surrender…I will do as you ask**__. _**"

The Doctor flipped him onto his chest, and pinned him with a hefty ham-hock of a leg.

"Is that what they said? All those millions of humans from Nellis Five, before you broke them and remolded them into that lifeless shell of yours?! NO Too late for that bitch. You had your fun. Now, I'm gonna have mine."

The Doctor grabbed hold of the Cyber-man's pelvic paneling and in mere seconds stripped it away in great clumsy chunks like a candy wrapper. And boy would he enjoy this candy.

He loosened his own belt buckle.

"This is for the millions you murdered." Said the Oncoming Storm, his testosterone levels increasing as Cyber-leader-Gold whimpered beneath him.

The Doctor sidled up to the TARDIS with Amy and Rory in tow, an awkward smile on his charismatic face. He swiveled his skinny body in a victory dance as he unlocked the doors with a snap of his fingers.

"It was all fiendishly simple really…" He gloated, stepping through the blue wooden doors.

"Once the functionality of the Cyber Leader had shorted out the whole armada had no external processors with which to pilot their ships. They'll cascade through space until they're destroyed by meteor bombardment. Nothing to worry about, crisis averted."

"But…but." Rory hesitated, glancing back from the flagships bridge from where they had come.

"I'm sorry but…exactly how did you destroy the Cyber-leader? Because there is no way the sonic screwdriver could have done that much damage."

"Yeah, I'm curious raggedy man." Chimed Amy.

"I mean you're good put that thing was completely destroyed. I didn't even notice it was a cyber-man until you pointed to it."

"Er…yes…" The Doctor mumbled, trying to think of a lie his companions would believe.

"Err… from what I can make out one of his protein fluid containers must have ruptured, soaking him in that…that gunk. Flooded his brain to from what I could see. We appear to have been very lucky this time."

Amy leaped up to the console and skirted round it, anticipating their next stop.

Rory however seemed doubtful.

"But his whole lower body had been pulverized! Crushed up against his head with the chest burst open and…and… You must have seen what happened! This'll bug me for weeks!"

But The Doctor dismissed him hurriedly.

"Sometimes things happen even I can't answer. Well. O.K that's not entirely true. You know what screw it."

The Doctor hulked out, revealing his muscular frame, like small buses crammed in tight around one another. A glittering engine of succulent buffness.

Amy's jaw hit the floor.

"I HAPPENED. So deal with it."

And Rory was so emasculated that his privates shriveled to the size of an anorexic walnut.

_**End.**_


End file.
